Dear…..
There was a time in my life when I thought my body was against me. I struggled for years with endometriosis, countless medical procedures and surgeries, and spent many of my days in bed, where the only relief came from reaching for the strong painkillers that I knew would knock me out. At my most desperate point, I even considered a hysterectomy, convinced it was my only option. I resented my Womb and my Womanhood.
Now, I live a life aligned with my cycle, deeply attuned to her subtleties. I feel the most connected to my feminine essence I ever have, and embrace my bleed as a time for deep introspection.
This shift didn’t happen overnight. It has been a journey filled with grief, pain, and moments when I felt utterly lost. Over time, I began to reflect on the imprints of my maternal line, the rites of passage I had moved through, and internalised beliefs that had shaped my relationship to my cycle. I came to understand that my body wasn’t betraying me, it was simply asking me to deeply listen.
We live in a world that often doesn’t support our cyclical nature or encourage us to listen deeply to our bodies as women. Instead, many of the natural processes of female biology have been heavily medicalised, pathologised, rather than embraced, supported, and celebrated.
We are often led to believe as women that our experiences of menstruation, birth, and menopause, are problems to be fixed, controlled, or even stopped altogether. An approach that is far more predictable, palatable, and manageable for society, rather than a woman who is deeply connected to her body, attuned to her intuition, self-resourced, and reveres her body and blood as sacred.
What if, instead of these aspects of the feminine being seen as problems to hide or fix, they were seen are sacred rites of passage? Each one an invitation to know thyself deeper and to reclaim our feminine power.
Throughout history honouring rites of passage has been an ancient tradition amongst many cultures, marking an individuals transition from one phase of life to the next. These passages are commonly acknowledged through ritual and ceremony, surrounded by loved ones and community. Through these shared and supported experiences, the individual understands that they are part of a larger collective, helping to foster their sense of self, belonging, and connection.
For women, blood marks three sacred and transformative biological rites of passage. Our first drop of menstrual blood initiates us into Womanhood, birth blood signifies our entry into Motherhood, and the cessation of menstrual blood marks our transition into Menopause. The way a woman is supported during these rites of passage, has a profound impact on how she views her body, her womanhood, and shows her how the culture values the role she is stepping into. When embraced and nurtured, these transitions offer a strong foundation that support us as we enter this new life phase.
In our culture, however, each female biological rite of passage has been heavily medicalised and pathologised. Further imprinting into the female psyche to distrust of our bodies, and to see menstruation, birth, and menopause as something to be managed rather than embraced.
When we begin to reclaim our cycles and sacred rites of passage, we start to recognise the wisdom they offer. Our bodies are in a constant state of change, ebbing and flowing through seasons of transformation. Menstruating women for example experience an internal journey through seasons each month. Cycling from spring (follicular) to summer (ovulation), to autumn (luteal), and winter (menstruation). Yet within a culture built on productivity, linearity, and consistency, the space for honouring the constantly shifting nature of female biology has narrowed, making it nearly impossible to live in true alignment with our cyclical nature. Instead, women are expected to carry on regardless of their bodies’ processes, an expectation that can make us feel like we’re somehow less capable, or even an inconvenience. Again, this narrative depicts women as the problem, rather than taking into account what is happening to them and around them.
As women, we too partake in these narratives, whether that be subconsciously or consciously, and have internalised the patriarchy, menstrual shame, and disowning of our cyclical nature. From the quiet unwrapping of pads in the bathroom, to hiding tampons in our sleeves, feeling guilty when we’re resting, medicating our symptoms or bleed away, or listening to the internalised voice that tells us to “get on with it”. Yet, the menstrual cycle is calling us to acknowledge her, and it is right in our faces. So many women today are experiencing PMS, endometriosis, PMDD, PCOS, and other cycle-related conditions. Our bodies are literally calling out to be acknowledged and honoured.
What might it mean for each of us to truly listen, and live in communion with our cycles?
What could change if we reclaimed and acknowledged these rites of passage, both within ourselves and our community?
I invite you to pause and take a moment of self-reflection. Consider how your own rites of passage have shaped you, and the experiences that may have stayed with you. Here are a few journaling prompts to help guide your self-reflection:
- Reflect on your first experience of menstruation. How did you feel? Were you supported, celebrated, was it a more private experience, do you not remember?
- Consider the stories or beliefs you have internalised about your cycle. Are these beliefs truly yours, how do they serve you?
- What would it look like for you to embrace and support your cycle more in your daily life?
Reclaiming these rites of passage and our cyclical nature is not just a personal journey; it’s a collective one. There is immense power in gathering together, especially as women, sharing our wisdom from our cycles and life seasons, and supporting each other through these passages.
If this letter has sparked a curiosity to deepen your connection to your cycle and feminine essence, I would be honoured to hold space for you through Womb Hara Massage. I am available in clinic on Wednesday + Friday.
I look forward to connecting with you.
Much love,
Jade